Beonard's Losers

2007, Week 5

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Howdy, football fans. We're a quarter of the way through the season, and the games only get better and better. We're starting to see the true colors of some teams. Michigan has finally woken up and started playing like a Big Ten powerhouse, and Kentucky is showing us that every cat has his day, too. Not all of the news is positive, though. It is a rule of football that for every winner, there must be a loser. So let's take a look at some of this week's games.

Penn State at Illinois
Joe Pa's kitties got torn up in Ann Arbor last weekend, and they hope to have better luck facing the Chambana tribe on Saturday. With a win last weekend, Ron Zook's scalpers have more wins already this season than they did all last year -- or the year before that. The home team expects to fight off the invading felines, but the Lions aren't as wounded as you might think. Beonard's Loser: Illinois

Michigan at Northwestern
The maize and blue make their first road trip of the season on Saturday, as they head west to Ryan Field. Michigan and Northwestern may have identical records, but they are headed in opposite directions. After losing to Duke, the purple felines didn't stand a chance against the Ohio State University. Now that Michigan is remembering how to play football, the game will be over before it starts. Beonard's Loser: Northwestern

Buffalo at Ball State
Ball State has a 2-point total defecit in losing games this year, including the biggest scare Nebraska has had in a long time. They'll play host to the horned bovine from Buffalo on Saturday. The Bulls have two of their losses to ranked opponents, but the Muncie birds will have no problem against the incoming stampede. Beonard's Loser: Buffalo

Notre Dame at Purdue
Even though I focus on losers, I have to give credit where credit is due. Congratulations to the golden domers for their first offensive touchdowns of the season. On Saturday, they'll try again against the West Lafayette bartenders. Joe Tiller's defense, especially against the pass, has been fairly porous, but the offense is capable of running up the score to stay ahead. The Pope's favorites have the worst start in school history, and it won't get any better when they face their in-state rivals. Beonard's Loser: Notre Dame

Indiana at Iowa
How often do we see Indiana ahead of Iowa in the standings? Maybe a better question is: how long will that be the case? Indiana's Kellen Lewis may be one of the finest quarterbacks in the Big Televen, with 11 touchdowns already this season, but Jake Christensen is a fair quarterback in his own right, and looks to pad his numbers against a team that allows over 20 points per game. In this game, Iowa's stingier defense will make all the difference. Beonard's Loser: Indiana

Florida Atlantic at Kentucky
Howard Schellenberger's players hated Kentucky more when he was a coach at Louisville, but his Owls will have no love for the cats when they head into Lexington on Saturday. Kentucky has seen 4-0 starts in the not-too-distant past, but this may be the best season they've had in decades. FAU's spread offense may have a good time against the Wildcats' weak defense, but they won't have an answer for Andre Woodson. The feathers will be flying, and the Owls will end up plucked. Beonard's Loser: Florida Atlantic

Michigan State at Wisconsin
Mark Dantonio appears to have turned his phalanx around in his first year as the fearless leader. He'll march them into Madison on Saturday to try to skewer some Badgers. Neither team has played a peer yet, so it is a little unclear where they stand. The spear toters have allowed fewer points per game, but the cheeseheads seem to be fiercer. Much blood will be spilled in this game, and the home team knows that this is not Sparta. Beonard's Loser: Michigan State

Ohio State at Minnesota
Jim Tressel bundles up his sweater vest to bring his nuts up north this weekend to take on some rodents. Minnesota is trying desperately to avoid the bottom of the Big Televen heap, and a win against a top ten team would sure help. Minnesota's offense is impressive, but the trees won't budge and the gophers will be forced back into their holes. Beonard's Loser: Minnesota

And now for a list of likely losers. Mississippi loses to Georgia. Iowa State loses to Nebraska. Auburn will lose to Florida.

Well, pigskin fanatics, that's all I have for you this week. Check back with me next week when I'll have another list of losers.

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