Beonard's Losers

2007, Week 6

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Howdy, football fans. We're a quarter of the way through the season, and the games only get better and better. We're starting to see the true colors of some teams. Michigan has finally woken up and started playing like a Big Ten powerhouse, and Kentucky is showing us that every cat has his day, too. Not all of the news is positive, though. It is a rule of football that for every winner, there must be a loser. So let's take a look at some of this week's games.

Wisconsin at Illinois
At the end of last year, folks in Champaign were ready to kick Ron Zook out of his teepee. All of a sudden, his tribe have four straight wins, including last week's scalping of Penn State. Bret Bielma's cheeseheads will have to be on the watch for an ambush when they head into the Illinois camp, but they're fierce fighters in their own right. The Illini want another feather in their headdress, but they'll fall just short. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: Illinois

Minnesota at Indiana
The boys from basketball town will try to defend the rock on Saturday against the gilded rodents from the Twin Cities. The Bloomington faithful are having their best year in recent memory, and are looking to make a big splash in the Big Ten. Offing the Iowa Hawkeyes last week certainly made a statement, and a win over Minnesota this weekend will make it a slam dunk. Beonard's Loser: Minnesota

Northwestern at Michigan State
The Evanston felines prowl into East Lansing to take on Mark Dantonio's spear-toters. Michigan had a good scare last week from the kitties, and the Spartans will need to have their spears sharp to stay on top. This game will have a lot to say about the middle of the Big Televen pack, and may determine whether or not Michigan State has their traditional mid-season downturn. Beonard's Loser: Northwestern

Eastern Michigan at Michigan
After week two, everyone had written off the Wolverines, but Lloyd Carr has kept his team from total implosion. This week, they'll take a breather against MAC punching bag Eastern Michigan. There's not much to say about this game. Beonard's Loser: Eastern Michigan

Central Michigan at Ball State
The Chippewas head into Muncie to fight for the lead in the MAC West. After almost beating Nebraska two weeks ago, the Cardinals have shown that they're a legitimate team. Central Michigan has shown that they're no slouches either, but they'll need to prove themselves more before they'll win over yours truly. Beonard's Loser: Central Michigan

Vanderbilt at Auburn
Pollsters just aren't giving the love to the Auburn Tigers, but I will. Having watched the defending national champs get overpowered by Tommy Tuberville's team, I'd readily put the jungle cats in the top 25. So it should be fairly obvious that when the Nashville ship sails into Jordan-Hare stadium, that the visitors are likely to get sunk. Were this a basketball show, things might be different, but when you're on the gridiron, you can't argue with a tiger. Beonard's Loser: Vanderbilt

Iowa at Penn State
Both of these teams suffered embarassing losses last week, and they'll try to recover in order to keep some credibility in the conference. Joe Pa's kitties have taken a marked downturn since the start of Big Ten play, and they want to get their first conference win by knocking the invading flock out of the sky. The Iowa City birdies are also in search of that first W, but they just dont have what it takes to herd cats. Beonard's Loser: Iowa

Florida at LSU
Urban Meyer regroups his reptiles to try to catch some tigers for dinner. The Baton Rouge carnivores have earned a spot atop the NCAA standings, and they don't plan to give it up to a group of cold-blooded animals. The tiger defense is about as stingy as you'll see, and once Tim Tebow is shut down, the Gators have no other answers. Beonard's Loser: Florida

Ohio State at Purdue
Jim Tressel's nuts will be riding high when they head into the West Lafayette switching station on Saturday night. The bartenders haven't played a legitimate team yet, and they've already shown a few signs of weakness. Note to the acorns: run slant routes. The train is looking to clear the tracks on the way to the top of the Big Ten, but trees aren't exactly easy to move. Beonard's Loser: Purdue

Notre Dame at UCLA
Those who know me well understand that I have certain biases when it comes to college football. I do my best to keep my losers neutral, but I have to let something out this week: HA! HA! Notre Dame goes to 0-6! Beonard's Loser: Notre Dame

Well, gridiron addicts, that's all I have for you this week. Check back with me next week when I'll have another list of losers.

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