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Howdy, football fans. Last week just goes to show why they play the games. I flipped a coin, and it did as well as I did predicting the outcomes. But George Washington doesn't even come close to providing the level of entertainment you'll get from me. So let's have a look at this week's games.
Illinois at Iowa
Ron Zook leads his tribe into the Ames nest with a belt full of badger pelts. They'll look to add a few Hawkeye feathers to their headdress on Saturday. Kirk Ferentz is feeling the pressure from the Iowa faithful after four straight losses. The hometown flock will have their claws sharpened, but the arrows from the Illini will be too much for them to handle. Beonard's Loser: Iowa
Kent State at Ohio State
Jim Tressel's nuts took the show on the road last week when they embarassed Purdue. They don't really need a rest, but they'll get it this week against their in-state opponents. It will take more than just a flash of brilliance to save the Golden Flashes. Beonard's Loser: Kent State
Minnesota at Northwestern
Northwestern shocked the Big Televen last week when they defeated the Spartans in East Lansing. This week, they'll play host to a strugging pack of gilded rodents. Tim Brewster hasn't had much luck in his first season as the lead tunneler, and it doesn't look to get better on Saturday. The purple kitties will have no problem chasing the visitors back underground. Beonard's Loser: Minnesota
Purdue at Michigan
The West Lafayette locomotive will try to get back on track against a Michigan team that allows twenty points per game. The Wolverines need a quality win, but to get that they'll have to count on Mike Hart's shoulders being big enough to carry the game again. The deciding factor in this game will be Joe Tiller's utter inability to win in Ann Arbor. Beonard's Loser: Purdue
Louisiana State at Kentucky
The Wildcats have been the Cinderella story of college football this year, at least up until they lost to South Carolina. Louisiana State survived a close call with some Gators last weekend, but this cat-on-cat matchup should be much easier for them. Beonard's Loser: Kentucky
Boston College at Notre Dame
The biggest surprise of week six was the fact that Notre Dame won. Did Charlie Weis find his genius, or did the luck of the Irish finally catch up? We'll see how legitimate the domers are when they host the Eagles in the big Catholic battle. Boston College is undefeated and ranked number four in the country, so it'll take more than just luck for the Irish to win this game. Beonard's Loser: Notre Dame
Wisconsin at Penn State
The Pennsylvania felines looked like they were going to claw their way to the top of the Big Ten at the beginning of the season, but now they have two conference losses. Illinois showed some of Bret Bielma's team weaknesses, and you know Joe Pa has been watching the film of that game every waking moment, in an attempt to remain undefeated in Beaver Stadium. The valley has been happy so far, but all good things must end. Beonard's Loser: Penn State
Indiana at Michigan State
The Hoosiers are one win away from being bowl eligible for the first time since 1993, and they'll look to take care of that in East Lansing on Saturday. Mark Dantonio's spear-toters are faltering, and need a win to re-form the ranks. This promises to be a high scoring game, and it will be a battle for the ages. At the end of the day, the visitors will need to rely on a run defense that gave up 288 yards to Illinois. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: Indiana
Well, folks, that's all the wisdom that I can manage for you this week. Be sure to stop by again next week when I'll have a whole 'nother bunch of losers.
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