Beonard's Losers

2007, Week 8

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There are two lessons that we can take from last weekend. First, if you want to win a football game, don't get yourself ranked in the top 10. Second, just because you have your own football show doesn't mean you know what you're talkin' about. Once again, Ohio State is at the top of the first BCS rankings, but with all the commotion lately, that could change at any time. Let's take a look at some of this week's games.

South Florida at Rutgers
There are plenty of folk who'd say the Bulls are the top team in the country. I'm not one of those, but I can't truly say that they ain't. They'll get a chance to not mess things up on Thursday when they head up to Piscataway to take on the Scarlet Knights. The Bulls have outscored everyone but Auburn by at least double-digits, and there ain't much that Rutgers can do to stop 'em. Beonard's Loser: Rutgers

Northwestern at Eastern Michigan
The Evanston felines take a trip to Ford Field on Friday to take on a flock of eagles who haven't been flying too high this year. The purple kitties have won their last two games by running the score up to match their opponents, but that shouldn't be necessary this weekend.. Beonard's Loser: Eastern Michigan

Penn State at Indiana
There are a lot of words that could be used to describe Joe Pa's pussycats, but "consistent" is not one of them. Will the Hoosiers see the team that gave up 24 points to Buffalo, or the team that held Wisconsin to seven? Bill Lynch is trying to get his team to that magical 6-win mark, putting them in the post-season for the first time since 1993. If they want to make that happen this week, they'll have to shake of a tough loss in East Lansing, and have plenty of catnip ready for the invading kittens. Beonard's Loser: Indiana

North Dakota State at Minnesota
The gilded tunnelers will try to snap a five game losing streak on Saturday when they play host to the undefeated Bison. North Dakota State hasn't played much of anybody worth talking about, which is fine because Minnesota ain't anybody worth talking about. The Twin Cities faithful will just have to hope that the hometown fans outnumber the visitors, because that's the only victory they'll see on Satruday. Beonard's Loser: Minnesota

Northern Illinois at Wisconsin
Bret Bielma couldn't ask for better timing on this game. His rodents will need a week to lick their wounds after getting mauled in Happy Valley. Their luck will be better against dogs than it was against cats, and kicking the pups out of Camp Randall Stadium should put everything right in cheeseland. Beonard's Loser: Northern Illinois

Iowa at Purdue
It figures that once I get myself firmly hitched to the Illinois wagon, Iowa would swoop in and scalp the scalpers. Kirk Ferentz will try to add to his list of reasons that he should keep his job when his flock flies into the West Lafayette switching station on Saturday. The gold and black locomotive can't seem to find its way back onto the track. Joe Tiller needs his team to pick up a good head of steam going into the late part of the season if he wants to have any credibility at all. You wouldn't think that train versus bird would be a close match, but this one will come right down to the wire. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: Iowa

Michigan State at Ohio State
Mark Dantonio has re-formed the ranks after close losses to Wisconsin and Northwestern. Creaming the crimson gave his spear-toters confidence, which they'll need in great measure when they head into Columbus to crack Jim Tressel's nuts. The Bucs find themselves in a very familiar position, and will try their best to avoid an LSU imitation. The Spartans will have their shields ready, but it won't stop the hail of acorns from raining down upon them. Beonard's Loser: Michigan State

Florida at Kentucky
Nobody would have ever expected that Kentucky could knock off Louisiana State after Florida failed to do so the previous week. But here we are, and the Gators have never been so afraid of making a trip to the Lexington cat house. Both teams will bring their Heisman-candidate quarterbacks, eager to take the lead from BC's Matt Ryan. The swamp lizards have shown themselves to be beatable, and hope to avoid a three-game losing streak. However, it will take more than hope to de-claw the Wildcats as they claw their way to the top of the SEC East. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: Florida

California at UCLA
Call the Bruins anything you like, just don't call them "consistent." After beating respectable teams like Washington and Oregon State, they surrender 20 points to Notre Dame. They'll look to redeem themselves for allowing the domers their first win of the year, when they play host to California on Saturday. Cal had the top spot in the reach of its furry little paws before dropping a heartbreaker to Oregon State last weekend. The Bears have allowed a lot more points than they're comfortable with, but have yet to score less than 30 in a game. Beonard's Loser: UCLA

USC at Notre Dame
Any other year, and this would be the game that has folks in Los Angeles worrying about their national title hopes. This year, the talk is more about whether the fainting Irish can get a second win under Charlie Weis' belt -- and heaven knows he has room for them. Evan Sharpley will be the third leprechaun quarterback to start in the Indiana Vatican this season, and if the Irish luck won't do the trick, maybe the third string will be the charm. But Pete Carrol still wants to talk national title, and he isn't about to let a team that gets outscored by 17 points per game to get in the way of that. Beonard's Loser: Notre Dame

Oregon at Washington
Now this is a game I've been looking forward to all season. Washington is a lot better than their record, and Ty Willingham will look to prove it when the Ducks come quacking in to Husky Stadium. Oregon has done real damage against opponents this season, and with a quarterback like Dennis Dixon, how could they not? Two key injuries will slow the ducks down, but they won't be enough to clip their wings. Beonard's Loser: Washington

Michigan at Illinois
Lloyd Carr is thankful that Iowa took some momentum away from the Champaign tribe last weekend, but that won't stop the arrows from flying when his team prowls into Memorial Stadium on Saturday. The Wolverines have had no problem taking out conference opponents, and if Ron Zook wants to get his team to be accepted as legitimate, this is the game to do it. If the tribe can bottle up an injured Mike Hart, this game will turn the Big Ten upside down. Beonard's Loser, in an upset: Michigan

Auburn at Louisiana State
It's Tiger-on-Tiger action Saturday night when Auburn pays LSU a visit. Auburn may have the same conference record as the home team, but with the exception of the Florida upset, they're not what I would call "quality wins". Tommy Tuberville's best hope will be that LSU is so busy licking last week's wounds that they'll forget all about this weeks game, but that's not exactly a safe bet. Auburn will give Baton Rouge a scare, but will end up with wounds of its own. Beonard's Loser: Auburn

Okay, pigskin gluttons, that's what I think about this week's games, for what it's worth. Come back and see me again next week when I'll have a whole bunch more losers.

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