Beonard's Losers

2007, Week 9

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Howdy, football fans. I normally confine my commentary to the games -- and the occasional dig at Charlie Weis -- but I have to get something off my chest this week. Larry Taylor, your play may have got you six points, but it was low-down and dirty. Even though Connecticut won last weekend, they're still Beonard's Big Loser for week 8. Big East officials, consider yourselves the runners-up. But I have to give the Big East Commisioner credit for being a gentleman and phoning his apologies. But enough living in the past, let's take a look at this week's games.

West Virginia at Rutgers
The Mountaineers will have their wits about them as they try to disprove the transitive property on Saturday. Greg Schiano's knights just beat the only team to topple the mountains, and they'll try to defend Piscataway from attack. The home warriors might be tough, but their swords will be no match for stone. Beonard's Loser: Rutgers

Pittsburgh at Louisville
The Derby City fowl are furious after last weekend's travesty, and will have their beaks good and sharp to meet the Panthers stalking in from up-river. Dave Wannstedt's felines are performing worse than expected this year, despite declawing Cincinnatti last weekend. They might have a lot of fight in them, but nothing that the birds can't handle. Beonard's Loser: Pittsburgh

Indiana at Wisconsin
For the third week in a row, Bill Lynch's squad will attempt to become bowl eligible for the first time in over a decade. This week's target will be Bret Bielma's Badger boys. The rodents haven't lost at home in a while, and they have no plans to let unclaimed aural parts disrupt their cheese party. Kellen Lewis has been carrying this team all year, but his shoulders are starting to weaken. Beonard's Loser: Indiana

Ball State at Illinois
Even high schools have good seasons, as Mrs. Beonard reminded me. On Saturday, Indiana's largest high school heads west to take on Ron Zook's tribe. The redskins got mauled by Wolverines, but the medicine men have had a week to heal the Chambana team. Both teams may have the same record, but that's where the similarity ends. Illinois earns a long-overdue bowl bid this year. Beonard's Loser: Ball State

Michigan State at Iowa
It's not the speed that kills Kirk Ferentz's career, it's the sudden stop at the end. The avians have lost five of the last six games and don't have much to bring to the table against a respectable Spartan team. Mark Dantonio is anxious to prove to the East Lansing faithful that the era of John L. Smith mid-season collapses is over. A win this weekend would put the speartoters in the post season, which would make his point rather effectively. Beonard's Loser: Iowa

Northwestern at Purdue
The West Lafayette choo-choo got back on track last week after plucking some Hawkeyes, and they'll try to declaw the Evanston kitties this weekend. The felines head into Joe Tiller's switching station average more passing yards per game than their hosts, and the five wins so far should remind us all that this is not the Northwestern of years past. This should be an offensive showdown, but if Purdue's newly found defense shows up, the outcome won't be in doubt. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: Northwestern

USC at Oregon
Back in week two, the Ducks put what appeared to be the final nail in the coffin of the Michigan Wolverines. When the Trojans come riding north on Saturday, they'll try to avoid similar embarassment. Both teams are trying to get to the top of the Pac-10 standings and perhaps try for the national title. USC's balanced attack will give the fowl fits, but a team that scores almost 47 points per game is just plain hard-to-beat. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: USC

Florida at Georgia
Urban Meyer's reptiles recovered nicely after a loss to LSU, shutting down an exciting Kentucky squad. This week, they'll head into Alltel Stadium to put the bite on a litter of Georgia pups. The Bulldogs are where they are more as a result of their schedule than their skill, and that will be painfully evident on Saturday. Even with an injured Tim Tebow, the Gators will own this game from beginning to end. Beonard's Loser: Georgia

Nebraska at Texas
We all thought Nebraska had something going this season, but now it's clear that they're shucked. The Longhorns have stumbled this season, but they'll plow the field without a second look. Beonard's Loser: Nebraska

Minnesota at Michigan
The gilded rodents stand a very good chance of finishing this season without a conference victory. They've avoided blowouts in most of their games this season, but that won't be the case in Ann Arbor on Saturday. Lloyd Carr has only this game at home before a two game road trip and the end-of-the-season battle against The Ohio State University. Putting this game away quickly and forcefully will set the stage for Michigan's run at the Big Ten title, and there's absolutely no reason that the Wolverines won't have it decided by the end of the first quarter. Beonard's Loser: Minnesota

Ohio State at Penn State
You have to wonder if Joe Paterno gave up coaching duties in Happy Vally to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The kittens have a serious case of split-personality this season. So far, the State College crowd has seen Dr. Jekyll, but how long can that streak last? The last time Jim Tressel's nuts were cracked in a regular season game, the winner was Joe Pa. Will history repeat itself? I doubt it. Beonard's Loser: Penn State

Okay, friends. That's all I've got for you this week. Tune in again next week when I'll have a whole other batch of losers.

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