Beonard's Losers

2008, Week 1

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Howdy, football fans! Welcome to the third season of Beonard's Losers. We appreciate you spending some time with us each week as we take a look at the biggest losers in college football. Speaking of losers, that's what most of these games are, but let's have a look at them anyway.

Youngstown State at Ohio State
Coming off a another embarrassing loss in the in the championship game, Jim Tressel will try to get his nuts regrouped. Hosting the Antarctic opponents from Youngstown may be a confidence boost, but it won't do anything for their credibility. Beonard's Loser: Youngstown State

Akron at Wisconsin
Bret Bielma's Badgers play their first of four non-conference games when they host the Zips in Camp Randall Stadium. Akron hopes to bounce back from a losing season last year, but no kangaroo can beat a cheese-fed rodent. Beonard's Loser: Akron

Coastal Carolina at Penn State
When the Chanticleers fly into State College on Saturday, they'll look to sink their beaks into the backs of some Nittany kitties. Rumors around Beaver Stadium are that this is Joe Pa's last year at the head of the pride, and no one will want to let him down. Fortunately for the roosters, the rest of their season is easier by far. Beonard's Loser: Coastal Carolina

Bowling Green at Pittsburgh
With their stunning upset of West Virginia at the end of last year, the Steel City predators look to claw a few birds out of the sky. The Ohio raptors are prone to hatching upsets, so the hometown felines had better watch out. If Dave Wannstedt wants to make waves in the Big East this year, he'll need to make a statement in the MAC first. Beonard's Loser, in a close one: Bowling Green

Syracuse at Northwestern
Having spent the last few seasons on the low end of the Big Ten, the Chi-Town cats want to claw their way up in the standings. They'll get a good start when Greg Robinson's citrus roll into Ryan Field. The Evanston kittens are no powerhouse, but they'll have a ball on Saturday. Beonard's Loser: Syracuse

Maine at Iowa
The Hawkeyes haven't been flying very high the past few seasons, and they'd like to keep from getting their feathers ruffled this year. Hopefully, they won't be as surprised as I was to see that Maine has a football team. If Iowa takes the field, then the game is already won. Beonard's Loser: Maine

Hawaii at Florida
Anxious to prove their worth, the Honolulu heroes will fly into Gainesville to do battle with Urban Meyer's reptiles. After surrendering to Georgia in last year's Sugar Bowl, the Warriors need to show that they can beat a tough SEC team. What they're forgetting is that one of the major tenets of Urbanball is "don't lose." Beonard's loser: Hawaii

USC at Virginia
Pete Carroll's west coast powerhouse rolls their horse into Charlottesville on Saturday, hoping to get the drop on the home team, but the Scott Stadium natives know a thing or two about horses. They may not be surprised, but that doesn't mean they'll be victorious. Beonard's loser: Virginia

Utah at Michigan
The Utes look to do whatever it is that Utes do, and do it very well this season. They'll start off by heading into the Big House to give RichRod his first test as the leader of the Wolverines. A lot of talent left Ann Arbor after last year, and because of the drama surrounding the new coach, some has stayed away. This could be the beginning of a very happy year in Salt Lake City. Beonard's loser: Michigan

Appalachian State at Louisiana State
There's a Michigan difference in this game. In the early part of last season, the big news was the Mountaineers stunning upset of the Wolverines. At the end of the season, everyone thought Les Miles would leave the swamp for Ann Arbor. But now, the attention is squarely focused on the bayou, where a win for Jerry Moore will give the boys from Boone national prominence. This will be one of the best games of the season, but it'll belong to the Tigers. Beonard's loser: Appalachian State

Alabama at Clemson
Nick Saban hasn't been as successful in Tuscaloosa as most folks would like, so he'll wash ashore in South Carolina with hopes of drowning Tommy Bowden's Tigers. The hometown tabbies are more likely to growl than mew, and they won't let a little bit of wet fur dampen their day. Beonard's loser, in a close one: Alabama

Michigan State at California
When the spear toters arrive in Berkeley on Saturday, it will be a matchup of two teams who did better than their conference records might suggest. Mark Dantonio has worked hard to rebuild this team, and the experienced backfield may be among the best in the country. With a recent change at quarterback, the west coast cubs might look a bit lost, and that's what they'll do. Beonard's loser: California

Illinois at Missouri
Last year's Arch Rivalry game gave us tantalizing hints about the storied seasons both teams would have. When Ron Zook leads his tribe into battle, they'll look to bring home a few Tiger pelts. The Mizzou minx have sharp claws though, and more than a few braves will fall before this is all over, but if the Illini offense can play consistently, they'll return to Chambana victoriously. Beonard's loser, in an upset: Missouri

Kentucky at Louisville
This week, two teams from the Commonwealth State will live out their dream of playing on Sunday. The Derby City fowl are eager to avenge the loss that knocked them out of the top 10, and playing in their own pizzeria, they expect to do just that. Rich Brooks has other ideas, and has spent all summer sharpening his teams claws after losing their star quarterback. This will be a game worthy of the rivalry, but the birds need one more year to rebuild. Beonard's loser, in a close one: Louisville

Well that does it for this week, my friends. Tune in again next week when I'll have a whole 'nother batch of losers.

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