Beonard's Losers

2009, Week 12

Howdy, football fans! We learned a few interesting things last week.  For example, Big Ten rules prohibit running backs from hugging the team mascot after scoring a touchdown.  Also, it sounds like Charlie Weis might get one more year to return Notre Dame to glory.  If that's the case, then he might get to race RichRod to see who gets fired first, now that more potential NCAA problems have come to light in Ann Arbor.  Fortunately, there's still football to keep us distracted.  Six unbeaten teams are competing for the two spots in the BCS National Championship game, and none of them appear in this week's games.

Ohio State at Michigan

This matchup is commonly referred to as "The Game", but this year it will be more like "a game."  Ol' Sweatervest leads his Big Ten champs into the Big House to take on a Wolverine squad that is tied for last in the conference and needs a win to become bowl-eligible.  The Ann Arbor alumni are growing impatient with the lack of success on the field, and they'll be even more upset come Saturday afternoon.  Beonard's loser: Michigan

Minnesota at Iowa

Bowl-eligible Minnesota travels to the pink locker room at Kinnick Stadium in an attempt to improve their bowl berth at the expense of the Iowa flock.  Without their quarterback, the birds have had problems in the past two games, but the gilded rodents have been letting a lot of points get through.  Minnesota has dropped 13 straight games against ranked teams, and winning in Iowa City is never easy.  Beonard's loser: Minnesota

Connecticut at Notre Dame

Charlie Weis coaches his last home game of the season, or perhaps of his career, against the east coast dogs on Saturday.  Weis has the same record as his last two predecessors so any win is a credit at this point.  Fortunately for him, Connecticut hasn't exactly been setting the world on fire. Forgiveness comes a day early in the Indiana Vatican.  Beonard's loser: Connecticut

Penn State at Michigan State

After becoming bowl-eligible at Purdue last weekend, Sparty looks to improve its lot by upending the Pennsylvania pussycats.  Joe Pa's squad still has a chance at a BCS berth if they can put the spear-toters away neatly, something they couldn't do against the canal diggers last week.   The visitor's defense will be punishing, and Penn State has yet to lose on the road.  Beonard's loser: Michigan State

Wisconsin at Northwestern

Bret Bielma's Badger boys look for win number nine in Evanston on Saturday.  The purple kittens could find themselves tied for third in the Big Ten if they can get a win, but the Wisconsin run game will be hard to stop.  The 'Cats will just have to settle for 7-5.  Beonard's loser: Northwestern

Purdue at Indiana

The battle for the Old Oaken Bucket will once again be all the bowl game that these in-state rivals get.  Bill Lynch will try to get what has become a rarity for Indiana coaches: a 2nd win against Purdue.  Meanwhile, Danny Hope is anxious to remain undefeated (as he's currently 0-0) against the boys from basketballtown.  Capable offenses and laughable defenses will keep the scoreboard operator busy, but in the end, the bucket will stay in West Lafayette.  Beonard's loser, in a close one: Indiana

California at Stanford

With another week left in the Pac-10, this game has a lot of significance for the conference championship.  Currently at 4-3 in the conferece, Jeff Tedford's Berkeley Bears will need a lot of luck to get a crack at the title.  In fact, they may need a healthy dose of luck just to get past the crimson tree.  Although Cal has won 6 of the last 7 meetings, the Cardinal has scored over 100 points on top-10 teams in the past two weeks, and has yet to lose at home this season.  Beonard's loser: California

Well, folks, that's all I've got for you this week. Come back next week and we'll talk about some more losers and turkey dinners.

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